Sama Hoole X-berichten
- Onderwerp starter Medusa
- Startdatum
Ik ben er 1 van.
Mike
Mike
Doctor: "Processed meat is a Group 1 carcinogen. I'd cut the bacon."
Patient: "By how much does it raise my risk?"
Doctor: "About 18% per 50 grams a day."
Patient: "18% of what?"
Doctor: "Your bowel cancer risk."
Patient: "Which is what?"
Doctor: "Lifetime, about 6 in 100."
Patient: "So two rashers every day of my life takes 6 in 100 to roughly 7."
Doctor: "That's the absolute figure, yes."
Patient: "One extra case in a hundred. Over a lifetime. For bacon every single day."
Doctor: "It's still a risk."
Patient: "What's the figure for being overweight?"
Doctor: "Higher."
Patient: "And what did you give me the year I was overweight?"
Doctor: "A diet sheet. Cereal, bread, low fat."
Patient: "Which is how I got overweight."
Doctor: "The bacon's the one with the classification."
Patient: "The bacon's the one with the photograph. Two rashers, please, and I'll see you in forty years for the one in a hundred."
Mike
Patient: "By how much does it raise my risk?"
Doctor: "About 18% per 50 grams a day."
Patient: "18% of what?"
Doctor: "Your bowel cancer risk."
Patient: "Which is what?"
Doctor: "Lifetime, about 6 in 100."
Patient: "So two rashers every day of my life takes 6 in 100 to roughly 7."
Doctor: "That's the absolute figure, yes."
Patient: "One extra case in a hundred. Over a lifetime. For bacon every single day."
Doctor: "It's still a risk."
Patient: "What's the figure for being overweight?"
Doctor: "Higher."
Patient: "And what did you give me the year I was overweight?"
Doctor: "A diet sheet. Cereal, bread, low fat."
Patient: "Which is how I got overweight."
Doctor: "The bacon's the one with the classification."
Patient: "The bacon's the one with the photograph. Two rashers, please, and I'll see you in forty years for the one in a hundred."
Mike
Things a ruminant can do that no human, machine or laboratory can.
- Eat a wall and make muscle of it
- Turn a bag of fertiliser into protein
- Recycle its own urine through its spit and use the nitrogen twice
- Carry 100 trillion tenants and eat the surplus
- Learn to digest a poison by borrowing a bug off a goat
- Run a fermentation tank at 39 degrees in a blizzard with no fuel but hay
- Turn fragile seed oils into stable saturated fat on the way through
- Make B12 out of cobalt and dirt
- Build a kilo of complete protein from 600 grams of the stuff a human could eat
- Replace itself once a year, from grass, without an invoice
Every line is 50 million years old.
Every line has been patented by somebody since, in a worse form.
We have the original, standing in a field, and the paperwork says remove it.
Mike
- Eat a wall and make muscle of it
- Turn a bag of fertiliser into protein
- Recycle its own urine through its spit and use the nitrogen twice
- Carry 100 trillion tenants and eat the surplus
- Learn to digest a poison by borrowing a bug off a goat
- Run a fermentation tank at 39 degrees in a blizzard with no fuel but hay
- Turn fragile seed oils into stable saturated fat on the way through
- Make B12 out of cobalt and dirt
- Build a kilo of complete protein from 600 grams of the stuff a human could eat
- Replace itself once a year, from grass, without an invoice
Every line is 50 million years old.
Every line has been patented by somebody since, in a worse form.
We have the original, standing in a field, and the paperwork says remove it.
Mike
Order your burger rare and you get a speech. The waiter's face changes. There may be a form. Some kitchens flatly refuse, on the grounds that you cannot be trusted with your own lunch.
Order the salad and you get a smile and a fork.
Leafy greens cause more food poisoning than any other food in America. The government counted ten years of outbreaks and the lettuce won:
22% of all illnesses, about 2.2 million people a year.
Fruit and vegetables together took 46%.
All the meat and poultry in the country, combined, managed 22%.
In 2018 one outbreak traced to romaine put 96 people in hospital across 36 states, gave 27 of them kidney failure and killed 5.
It is the only thing on the menu that grew in the open, drank whatever was in the irrigation ditch, and arrives at the table without having met a flame.
The little asterisk about undercooked food sits next to the steak.
The steak has been in a fire. The lettuce had a rinse.
Mike
Order the salad and you get a smile and a fork.
Leafy greens cause more food poisoning than any other food in America. The government counted ten years of outbreaks and the lettuce won:
22% of all illnesses, about 2.2 million people a year.
Fruit and vegetables together took 46%.
All the meat and poultry in the country, combined, managed 22%.
In 2018 one outbreak traced to romaine put 96 people in hospital across 36 states, gave 27 of them kidney failure and killed 5.
It is the only thing on the menu that grew in the open, drank whatever was in the irrigation ditch, and arrives at the table without having met a flame.
The little asterisk about undercooked food sits next to the steak.
The steak has been in a fire. The lettuce had a rinse.
Mike
Mike
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