Trump: I am bought and owned by Miriam Adelson, the world's richest Israeli.
Democrats: Trump is a Putin puppet.
Trump: I do whatever she says.
Democrats: A Russian secret agent.
Trump: I'm controlled by the Israelis.
Democrats: He's suspiciously close with many dictators, actually.
Trump: I gave Miriam a foot rub last night. I don't feel good about it.
Democrats: Ooh! You know what would make him mad and hurt him politically? If we play along with those conspiracy theories about him and Jeffrey Epstein!
Trump: I'm gonna bomb Iran again.
Mike